yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
