Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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