Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
