she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
