Actions speak louder than pants.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
