I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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