Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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