i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
