i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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