thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
