Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
