Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
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I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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