Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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