So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
