just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
