How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
