Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
