so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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