Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
