i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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