everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
