I got chris browned last night
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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