Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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