there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
