i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
