nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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