He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
