she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
