check it out our google latitudes are spooning
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
