Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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