Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
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Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
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My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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