I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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