Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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