Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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