**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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