Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
