Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
