Bisexual people are plain selfish.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
