remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
