i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
