There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
