Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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