Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
