If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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