I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
