She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
