They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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