this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
