bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
