just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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