I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize