I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just found puke in my bra..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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