I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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