I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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