Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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