He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I puked a lego.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
