help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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