Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
