He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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