so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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