Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
