As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
