How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize