I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
