I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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