It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
