he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize