Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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