Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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