That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
