Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
